In all cultures and religions of the world, and also in modern psychology, the ability to forgive is of utmost importance for inner healing. Throughout our life's journey, we will consciously or unconsciously hurt others, and they in turn will hurt us. Many of us react with sadness, anger, even feelings of revenge. And we cannot forgive ourselves for some of the decisions we make. However, if we can't find closure, our thoughts constantly revolve around the hurt, causing these soul wounds to be reopened again and again. Freedom looks different. And you need it for a fulfilled life. The following forgiveness rituals for inner peace can help you to forgive from the bottom of your heart:
1. ho'oponopono - the hawaiian forgiveness ritual
This ritual has a very long tradition among the Hawaiian people. Translated, Ho'oponopono means something like "to put something in order" or "to set something right". However, it is becoming more and more widespread all over the world. Originally, the ritual was used to resolve conflicts within extended families, under the guidance of kahunas (shamans). In this way, disagreements within a community could be resolved. The fundamental idea that all people are connected makes this reconciliation ritual especially beautiful. Because if you can forgive, you reconnect with yourself and also with other people. Anger and revenge isolate you.
No matter what the conflict is - you can integrate the ritual into your everyday life and use it until you have internalized it - with the following four sentences:
- "I am sorry that ...": This is the phase of repentance or acceptance of the problem. You take responsibility for your own actions.
- "Please forgive me that...": The forgiveness phase can be addressed to yourself as well as to another person. Ask for forgiveness sincerely and from the bottom of your heart.
- "I love me/you ...": Love is an expression of connectedness with the whole universe and is incredibly strong. Allow the power of unconditional love and recognize the divine in you or in other persons.
- "Thank you." Give thanks that you were able to recognize and resolve the conflict.
In the concept of European Ayurveda®, mental and physical health are inseparable. That is why it is so important to detach yourself from negative thoughts. This includes anger and resentment. Learn here in the video with EA® pioneer Elisabeth Mauracher how you can transform them into something positive.
2. forgiveness with the REACH model
REACH forgiveness was developed by clinical psychologist and professor Dr. Everett L. Worthington Jr. of Virginia Commonwealth University as a method to support forgiveness. It is now used in various types of therapies or meditations in a variety of settings. The term REACH is an acronym that summarizes the five steps of the method.
- R for Recall: You actively recall the conflict or the violation. You thus face the fact and accept the conflict.
- E for Empathize: Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the place of others. The step is important to develop compassion for the person who hurt you. What made them cross your boundaries? Maybe this will help you to see the conflict in context.
- A for Altruistic gift: Now comes forgiveness as a selfless, altruistic gift. Remember your relief when you yourself were forgiven and how liberating that felt. Now you can pass on this wonderful gift yourself.
- C for Commit: This is about commitment. For example, you can put in writing that you have forgiven yourself or the person who hurt you. It is a kind of help that maintains your forgiveness.
- H for Hold on: It may happen that the conflict rises up again in you or that you remember it. However, do not hold on to it, but to the fact that you have already forgiven. Basically this step reminds you of all the steps before. You have forgiven actively, consciously and with compassion and commitment. You can hold on to that.
Remember that you cannot change others, but always yourself. This also includes that you change your perspective. Follow the link to the video with Elisabeth Mauracher, how you can find inner peace and thus gain more self-love and joy of life.
3. create your personal forgiveness ritual
If you cannot identify with the rituals presented, you are always free to choose a ritual that you create yourself. The important thing is that you understand the process of forgiveness as an active action that should come from you and be nurtured.
Imagine you cut your finger. You bleed, need a plaster and it takes until the finger is completely healed. It is the same with injuries of the soul or when you are angry with yourself. Take active time every day for your forgiveness ritual, for example during an evening meditation or after yoga. The following mantras can help you to forgive:
- Today I listen to my feelings. I am gentle with myself. I know that my feelings are my friends.
- Every new day is a new possibility. Yesterday is past and gone. Today is the first day of my future.
- I forgive all the people of my past and let them go with love.
- When I forgive myself, I can more easily forgive others.
- I am ready for my healing. I am ready to forgive. All is well.
- I give myself a gift and free myself from the past. I arrive with joy in the here and now.
- When I make a mistake, I know it's part of my learning process.
Tip: Reserve a space in your home for your daily meditations. You can also create a peaceful atmosphere with pleasant music, incense sticks and candles and in this way concentrate fully on your rituals. Follow the link to our Spotify playlist for soothing sounds.
